AMAZING Fat Loss SECRETS!!! Wooohooo!!!
Fat loss SECRETS revealed - just go to this web page www.MoreFatLossSecretsBullshitBlaBlaBlaRipYouOffForSupplements.com stick in your email address, so we can spam you to buy loads of supplements that you don’t need, made of synthetic crap and powdered unicorn ear lobe, full of sugar and not remotely natural, then you can download our free eBook which will reveal all these AMAZING Fat Loss Secrets!!!
Wooohooo lucky you, we are REALLY doing you a favour now…
Fat Loss SECRETS!!!! There are no frikkin’ secrets! What’s so secret? Why would it be secret? What like before we put up this webpage, no one on Earth knew how to be slim? FFS, what new secret do these people think they are revealing???
Here are the MND Fat Loss SECRETS!
- Amazing Fat Loss Secret #1: Move!! Get up off your lazy fat rear and frikkin’ move! Run, climb, crawl, cycle, walk, hike, sprint, swim, jump - I don’t care how you move JUST MOVE!
- Amazing Fat Loss Secret #2: Break a sweat! Wooohooo miracle cure right there. Take what you did in secret #1, and do it again a bit faster til you break a sweat. Guess WHY humans sweat? Cos we CAN. Yes, we’re meant to, it enables our bodies to WORK HARDER without over-heating internally. We are DESIGNED to sweat, so go get sweaty, Betty! And watch those rolls of fat melt away!
- Amazing Fat Loss Secret #3: Put that damned cake down! Yes, put the bag of crisps down, that chocolate bar, and go to Secret #1 and #2! NOW!!
- Amazing Fat Loss Secret #4: Eat less! Oh praise the Lord let sanity reign over all of us! The secret to fat loss = eat less! Oh my, you people are SO LUCKY I chose to share these AMAZING Fat Loss Secrets with you today.
- Amazing fat Loss Secret #5: Eat vegetables! Yes, green things, eat green things. Eat Fruit! Eat salad! Steam vegetables. Who knew? REAL food isn’t frozen and in a box and ready in 90 seconds in a microwave, you actually have to chop food up and steam it for 10 minutes! Wow, it’s revolutionary!!!
- Amazing Fat Loss Secret #6: 8 pints of lager and a pizza will make you FAT!!!! Try an evening down the GYM instead of the PUB! Try eating vegetables instead of junk food!
For more amazing Fat Loss Secrets, just visit our new website at www.WakeTheHellUpWorldAndUseYourCommonSenseAndStopEatingYourselfToDeath.com and download our unique guide to living longer – it’s called Get out, get some fresh air, get some exercise, eat real food and stop staring at the damn TV!
I bet you guys are REAL GLAD I showed up today, right?
Karl 🙂 x